Make the choice :)

Shopping trip! :)

This weekend me and my mom went up to the Mall of America! We were supposed to meet my friend that also has Lyme at the same time but it didn't work because of how she was feeling, prayers would definitely be appreciated for her! But my mom and I ended up having a good time! We spent the first night in bed because I wasn't feeling very well, we had room service and watched TLC!! (We don't have cable at my house) and the next day we headed over to the mall!! Here are some pictures :) it was such a great day!! Btw if you haven't gone to pinkberry you need to go!!! It was amazing!!

Another prayer request :)

I will be posting a Christmas post soon filled with yummy food, lots of smiles, and of course presents, but right now I want to ask y'all to pray for me, especially for my anxiety. I have been having a super hard time with this! Sometimes crying for 5 hours because it is so bad! Sometimes I feel like I have enough energy to run a marathon! Sometimes I feel like I could crawl out of my skin! Sometimes I just want to cry and cry and cry! Please pray that all these feelings will go away and that ill be able to control it! We have upped my anti-depressants /anxiety meds and they prescribed me Xanax but so far it hasn't been working well, but hopefully with time everything will be okay :) but please please keep me in your prayers!! :)

Venting

I really need to vent about this because its been bothering me alot, today at my soccer game one of teammates/friend asked us why we weren't running at the end, and I said"my legs hurt really bad" and she replied "so?" And then my other teammate/friend said"that's just what I was about to say."

I'm sorry but that is really insensitive, both of them know I have Lyme disease, that I'm not in school, and spend most of my time in bed, sorry I'm not running back and forth on the field.

I know that no one that doesn't have Lyme disease can never fully understand what we go through, but it would help of they atleast tried, or knew a little of what you were going through. I really didn't need this right now. Sorry if this is all scrambled, my mind is all over the place right now /:

Prayers please

I would really appreciate your prayers right now! I'm still having a horrible time with emotional problems, and it's very hard to handle because it isn't like any anxiety/depression that I've had before! I went to one of my doctors today and she upped my anti anxiety/depression meds, so hopefully that will help! Please also be praying for the pain that I am in, basically everyday I wake up with a migraine, and then atleast one other body part hurts, usually many more, my legs, feet, stomach, arms, hands, etc. please also be praying for my concentration and brain fog, I've been having a hard time with that, also with trying to remember things, I especially need this to get better since I'm planning on going back to school next semester! Please also be praying for the rest o my family, this isn't easy on them, especially since most of them have Lyme also, it's also hard since I have a crazy five year old sister ;) also be praying that I will be able to sleep more normally, I have problems going to sleep, staying asleep, and then going back to sleep after that :( please also be praying for my body temp, I have a really hard time controlling it, sometimes I feel like I'm in Antarctica and then other times I feel like I'm trapped in the desert! Last prayer request is that I get really shaky and have muscle spasms sometimes and it's definitely not fun :( sorry this was such a long post, but please keep my in your prayers! If you have any prayer requests, just comment and ill make sure to pray for you also :)

Physical yet very emotional process

Lately I have been having a horrible time with my emotions. Ill either be extremely depressed/numb feeling and just want to lay in bed and do nothing, or ill be extremely anxious and feel like I could jump out of my skin, it's absolutely horrible :'( sometimes I think it rather have the physical pain than this emotional roller coaster, but what's even worse is when I have both... NOT FUN!! no one should have to go through this horrible disease.

Update 12-3-12

Hello everyone! Sorry I haven't posted actually words very much, it's not that I've been busy but very low energy and numb feeling lately, so that translates into just watching house and la ink or my other favorite shows! :P yesterday was a very very good day for me, I was able to play in one of my indoor soccer games!!! It is seriously one of my favorite things in the whole world, obviously I wasn't able to play to my full energy/potential but atleast I was out there playing! And I'm not even feeling that bad today, so I'm very happy about that :) my next appt with my LLMD is on January 21st, so we will figure out what the next direction is then, right now I am taking Zithromax! It hasn't caused problems yet besides the stomach, but I am still in pain everyday from the Lyme! So please still keep me in your prayers! Have a great day/week/month! :)

Care package <3

This literally brought me to tears, thank you so much Rachel, Kevin, holly, Hudson, grandpa, and Kim!! <3 this definitely made my day! I cannot thank you guys enough!

God will always help you

Verses

Kelly and Krystal's surprise party :)

On Saturday, Kelly's boyfriend (dakoda) and I threw a surprise party for her and her twin sisters birthday! :) it was lots of fun, we watched movies and had yummy food and it was just a good chill time :) before they got there Dakoda wrapped me up so I was part of Kelly's present! :P

Breaking dawn part two :)

On Friday night a group of my friends went to see breaking dawn part two! It was a really good movie, but some of the people took it one step to far and were clapping at some of the scenes... I am definitely not a "twihard"

Little update

Just found out from my doctor that I don't have detectable serotonin in my body! No wonder I'm depressed alot, the amazing this about this is in on a anti-depressant that is supposed to raise you serotonin levels! Good thing I switched to a different one... But I still need to figure out what's wrong because I was on Prozac 40mg daily when I took that test!

;)

Church :)

The one thing I try to make sure to go to every week, Wednesday night church :) I get to see all my friends and I get to hear about God, it's the perfect combination! It makes me so happy :) for one hour we have small group with all my favorite girl friends and then we join the rest of the high schoolers for worship and the message, they even play dubstep to the worship songs! I love it there :)

Walt Whitman

Be curious not judgmental <3

What I do when I'm bored

So since I spend most of the day just laying in bed, this is the latest thing I've found to occupy my self with :P

ER Visit

This morning, I went to the ER because I was dehydrated and had a horrible migraine (yes i know these two things are related) I've also been having insomnia because of the dehydration, but hopefully things will get better after this!

A prayer

I almost cried reading this it's so true to my life right now...

Pain

It never goes away, it may be a less intensity or in different places, but it always there. No pain meds have helps yet, the sauna helps a little, baths don't help, the only thing I can do to get away from is it sleep, and I haven't been able to do much of that even though I'm tired all day.

Little update

Wow, the past few days I have barely gotten much sleep during the night, I've tried taking zzzzquil and melatonin but neither of them have helped, I can never find a comfortable position, I'm in too much pain, I'm super nauseous. I have problems going to sleep and also staying asleep, and then trying again to go back to sleep after that. I'm really hoping this is just a phase and will pass too, I need my sleep to be able to function!

I'm going to have my mom call one of my doctors tomorrow to see if we can do anything to help with the sleep and try something else for my pain, since we still haven't found anything to help with it.

I was really discouraged because for our church Halloween party they played capture the flag and other games I wasn't able to play due to the fact that I'm in a wheelchair most of the time, and I most definitely can not run! So I had someone push me around, didn't get much done, I would have loved to play that game before all of this happened.

Tomorrow I have yoga, I haven't gone since I got my wheelchair, hopefully ill still be able to do most things and won't get really discouraged, since the main reason I go is to help relax, it's a lighter form of yoga but still a challenge to Lymie like me.

My verse(:

This is the verse that keeps me going. I'm hopefully getting this tattooed on my ribs in may for my birthday (:

Happy Halloween :)

It was zombie night at my church :)

The back of my wheelchair ^ (:

Sabrina dressed up as Barbie and went trick or treating with my mommy (:

My costume for zombie night :)

Sister love :)

You are strong enough!

Halloween :)

The pumpkin I carved for Halloween :)

Reminder

Everyday I remind myself that I can do this! And to stay strong <3 because I can and I will! And when I start doubting it, I just say it again, I CAN DO THIS AND I WILL STAY STRONG!!!

Well....

I'm in the middle of a hurricane, been doing better lately, but the pain is slowly starting to get worse and worse. The antibiotics they have me on for chronic staph make me very nauseous constantly. Still in bed most of the time, but have been able to start getting out more. Hopefully it will continue to go up instead of spiraling down.