Bonfire

I've been struggling a lot mentally and physically these past couple days. It seems like my anxiety is making a comeback. I'm hoping it's because of the caffeine in the tea I have been drinking. So I'm hoping that stopping that will stop the anxiety. Anyways, today around 1:00 I was struggling and so I prayed to God about something. I wanted to hangout with one of my friends, but didn't know if I could handle it emotionally or physically. So I asked God that if I should hangout with them, that they would text me and I wouldn't initiate it. And 5 hours later... I got a text from Kaylee asking me to go to a bonfire tonight! 

It was amazing! I love being around people and getting to be myself. And, one of my favorite parts about summer is bonfires! I love the heat, the smell, and the chance to be with friends. 

Matt even got out his guitar so we could sing worship music around the fire. But of course my chronic illness wasn't getting the attention it wanted so it threw a hissy fit. The pain hit hard and quickly so I had to leave and go back to my bed. It's disappointed when my chronic illness is the one throwing the shots, and I just have to listen because I don't want things to get worse. It gets really frustrating and depressing at times, but I'm trying to learn to live with it. I just wish I could live my life on my terms.